


Being with You (chenlay version)

by coconut_juice_00



Series: Being With You Universe [5]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-15 00:59:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3432206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coconut_juice_00/pseuds/coconut_juice_00
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Behind his smile is a broken heart. Joyous laughter filled the air in the morning, but you could hear him in his room with heart shattering cries at night.  But even then, in every broken smile, dying laughter and shattered heart, there's always this one person waiting to pick up the pieces and make it all better again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Final Chapter

**Author's Note:**

> grammatical errors and typos ahead

Kim Jongdae loves to play around.

 

Ever since he’s a little boy, he’s been fond of looking and exploring, having found every new part and sights that he sees a delight. He wouldn’t stop even if he’s hurt in the process (he once scraped his knee when he climbed the dusty attic of the mansion) or when his nanny scolded him, even hitting his hand to scare him. But Jongdae didn’t stop. In fact, it only made his curiosity heighten even more.

 

It infuriates his giver father because not only Jongdae is great at making trouble but also he loves to pull endless pranks on his nannies and caretakers, resulting in them leaving not less than a week.

 

“Aigoo, Jongdae. Why do you always make me worry?” His carrier father sighs after settling a 3 years old Jongdae on his lap, poking a few times on the tummy making him giggle. “You know, Daddy doesn’t like it when you’re getting hurt. Do you want your Appa to get mad at you?”

 

“Play?” Jongdae smiles, eyes twinkling in delight as he looks up at his father. And as a response, his carrier father would just sigh and slowly nod, breaking into a wide smile when he saw his son clap his hands in delight. And as always, his giver father is silently staring at them with that warm smile and eyes full of adoration, back leaning against the door frame.

 

It was a picture of a perfect family. A family that were filled with laughter and cuddles at night. But just when things were going smooth, everything fell the moment Jongdae’s carrier father died because of his illness.

 

It was revealed that the reason why Jongdae is often being taken care of by a nanny or a caretaker most of the time is because his giver father is flying across every country in search of the best doctors that can cure his husband, who spends most of his time in bed resting. Sadly, he was too late, waking up one morning with a big smile only to fall when his husband failed to wake up from his constant shakes.

 

He remembers his nanny dressing him up with that beautiful black suit and those shiny black shoes that were carefully put on his feet. He has no idea what’s the occasion and why his grandparents are crying. He tried to ask his father, but he was only caressed by the hair as a reply. Later that night after the funeral, his father engulfed him in a tight hug and cries so hard, voice loud that echoes the dimly lit hallways of the Kim mansion. It was only then when his giver father told him that Daddy won’t be coming to tuck and kiss him goodnight anymore did Jongdae cry.

 

After the death of his carrier father, the atmosphere around the house began to thicken, his giver father not sparring him a single glance after a week of shutting himself inside his and his deceased lover’s shared room. Jongdae badly wanted to play at that time, craving his father’s attention only to end up crying in despair when his father told his nanny to take him out to the garden and play with him before going back inside the room.

 

Things weren’t the same after that.

 

Jongdae grew up under the strict supervision of his father. He finds it hard, feeling suffocated and choked at the constant pressure being pushed towards him. The expectations that they have at him is high, being the heir to the business company his giver father owns. And for him to manage it, he needs to be the best in everything to overcome every problem thrown at his way.

 

But Jongdae loves to play. He did what he was told, yes, but it was only for a short while because he’s always distracted at the way the sun is shining against the window and the way the breeze makes you feel chilly even though it’s summer.

 

He wanted to be free. Free from all the responsibilities and be a normal person that have normal friends (He doesn’t have any apart from the other staffs at the mansion. He’s homeschooled, see?) And live a normal life in the most normal way as possible. But no. He’s doomed to be caged in this cold mansion and live the life that he knows most Kims his age will suffer.

 

But Jongdae doesn’t like losing, see?

 

“Young master, please stop!” Their butler shouts after him as Jongdae flashes a smug smirk as he revs the motorbike that he bought with his own money without the knowledge of his father (the guy’s at Canada, anyway) and drives out of the gates, feeling the fresh air that passes by on his face.  He did get in trouble, but Jongdae doesn’t mind. He’s used to it, anyway.

 

Jongdae finds love at the Kim family reunion that’s been held at Florida. It wasn’t expected, the kid finding the whole set-up a complete bore. Well he did find kids at his age in there, but they weren’t “cool” you know? They don’t have that… that boom factor that Jongdae’s been searching for a friend.

 

And then he saw him; that chubby kid who’s mirroring the same expression he had a little while ago. With a little smirk plastered on his face, he went forward and talked to him, but not before asking a bit to his other cousins about the chubby kid’s background.

 

It was amazing, he realizes, the feeling of someone understanding your problems. He likes the feeling of someone listening to him talk, to listen to his woes and complaints about what is happening in his life after a quick round of playing soccer. But what he didn’t expect is that the kid is older than him despite the face and that he’s experienced a much stricter environment than what Jongdae’s experiencing. I mean, the kid doesn’t even know how to play soccer?! Who doesn’t know these days?

 

But what made Jongdae’s heart melt was the moment when this kid, I mean, hyung—Minseok, flashes him that smile that made his insides twist and turn into knots. “I’ll be your friend. If that helps.” Is what he said. Upon hearing those words, Jongdae can’t help the heat that’s rising up his cheeks so he opted to look away and just wave his hands in dismissal at what the elder just said.

 

It goes on, his unrequited love for his older cousin continuing to blossom and grow and it’s really pissing him off because no matter how hard he tries to fight for his growing attraction, he knows they can’t be together. They’re relatives and even if they’re not, it’s only clear that the elder only views him as a close friend.

 

“I know you don’t feel the same but,” Jongdae whispers one night during his stay at Minseok’s house. They were sleeping on the elder’s large bed, his arms wrapped around Jongdae’s waist and right leg tangled on Jongdae’s limbs. He gently traces Minseok’s soft cheeks until it grazes on his lips. “I love you, hyung.”

 

So in hopes to distract himself from Minseok, he became a player, jumping to every relationship to another time to time, plastering that alluring and charming smirk to magnetize girls and boys alike. It was a success, the dating thing, I mean. But sadly at the end of the day, it will always end up with Jongdae falling in love with Minseok more as the elder hooks his arm around his neck, pulling him close. And even though it was only a friendly gesture, Jongdae can’t help but blush and smile, his heart aching at the bitterness of his unreciprocated love.

 

“You really need to take things seriously, Jongdae.” Minseok sighs beside him. They were walking at the streets of Beverly Hills, their black sunglasses covering the bright light from the sun. Jongdae, having his arm wrapped around an American girl, simply pulls his glasses up and winks at the elder before turning to the side and plants a firm kiss on the girl’s lips making her giggle.

 

It only got worse when Minseok entered high school, with Jongdae following a year later. He noticed the slightly taller male beside his cousin, his eyes shaped into a pair of crescents as he smiles at something that the elder just said. The guy was Lu Han, a Chinese boy that moved here in Korea a few years back. The two were friends since freshmen year, evolving into best friends a year later. And upon knowing that, Jongdae can’t help but feel jealous.

 

Jongdae thinks—no—he knows that Lu Han shares the same attraction that he feels to Minseok, seeing those eyes twinkle just at the presence of the elder male. And Jongdae may be ignorant and naïve, but he too knows that Minseok reciprocates that feeling, although why he chooses to hide it is a big question to Jongdae.

 

Jongdae may be an idiot, but he’s not that stupid not to notice.

 

“You like him don’t you?” Jongdae grins mischievously after hooking his arm around Lu Han’s neck. Said guy stuttered a response, face turning red and eyes wide like he’s caught in the act. “Oh my god, you do like him!” And Lu Han pulled away from his hold, continuously mumbling gibberish words of embarrassment, only to worsen when Minseok came back with their orders from McDonalds.

 

“What’s with him?” Minseok asked, eyebrows furrowed as he handed Jongdae his fries.

 

“Ask him.” Upon hearing that, Lu Han shot the younger male a panicked look before going to back to embarrassed state, mumbling a few small words in Chinese so that Minseok won’t understand. He was smiling at them but you can never hide that pure jealousy in his eyes as Minseok casually places his arm around the Chinese boy and gave his chest a big pat, laughing at the way Lu Han squirms on his hold.

 

_Yes, I do._

 

Jongdae shouldn’t have listened to Chinese class.

 

It was in the middle of Jongdae’s freshmen year when a certain energy ball like himself came bouncing in their lives. He doesn’t care, really, for he has so many things to take care of in his hands (family and school business.) But the moment that energy ball came bouncing towards Minseok that was the only time when Jongdae considered it his business. So how do you get rid of other competition? Make them fall for you, of course.

 

“Yah, Byun Baekhyun. Looking cute, today.” Jongdae shots a sly wink at the said male, who simply smiles upon hearing the compliment. He knows that not only was he the one who gives the guy compliments and other flirty passes considering that carrier is one of the most popular boys in the campus. (One of them is Lu Han, who doesn’t like the attention at all.)

 

It seemed to work after finding out from Baekhyun himself that he considered Jongdae as one of his flings (He’s not an eavesdropper. He just happened to pass by the bathroom and he heard Baekhyun talking to one of his friends.) But unfortunately, Baekhyun clings to Minseok more than ever after finding out from observation that the elder male does have a hidden attraction to Lu Han.

 

“So I was wondering if—“

 

“Wait, hold that thought.” Baekhyun turns his head to the side with a big smile on his face. “Minseok-hyung, hey!” Said guy turns his attention to him making Lu Han frown because he was clearly in the middle of telling Minseok something. “Wait for me at the library later, okay?” And Minseok nods in reply, raising his hand for a thumbs up with a big smile on his face.

 

Jongdae rolls his eyes and gags, reverting back to his game face when Baekhyun looks back at him. “You were saying?”

 

“Nothing.” He grins, letting his gaze land on Baekhyun’s lips. “You have beautiful lips. Looks soft.”

 

Baekhyun smirks. “Want a taste?”

 

They ended up making out at the gym closet, but who cares? He knows they’re just fooling around and this fling they have has no meaning, ergo, there’s still a fat chance that Baekhyun has the hots for Minseok. Lu Han obviously is isn’t that keen on that fact and so is Jongdae. The only difference between the two is that Lu Han doesn’t do anything and just silently fumes in one spot and tries to choke Baekhyun in his mind while Jongdae is trying to lure Baekhyun out of the picture using his own way.

 

But yeah, looks like they thought wrong.

 

“Hey, thanks for the notes, Kyungsoo. These really helped me.” Jongdae hands the notebooks back to the nerdy looking kid, Do Kyungsoo, who bows his head a bit before accepting it. Finding his awkwardness cute, Jongdae places his hand on Kyungsoo’s shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. “You don’t look like it, but you’re cool. Want to hang out sometimes?”

 

“S-Sure.” Kyungsoo clears his throat. “I need to go to my next class. See you around, Jongdae-sshi.” And with that, he scurries away, head down and ears tinge pink in embarrassment. He smirks, only to fade when he saw Baekhyun with a big frown coming over his way.

 

“What the fuck are you doing?” He hisses upon reaching him. Jongdae raises an eyebrow.

 

“Uh—standing?”

 

“Are you flirting with him?” Jongdae slowly nods in understanding upon hearing that. Oh, so Baekhyun’s jealous. He mentally smirks. So his plan is working? He did managed to make Byun Baekhyun fall for him? Baekhyun slams his hand on the locker behind Jongdae making him snap back to reality. “Why are you flirting with him?! You can’t, you hear me?!” He scowls. “Stop flirting with my Kyungsoo!”

 

That made Jongdae stop for a minute. Wait. Flirt with his Kyungsoo?

 

“I got dibs on him first.” Baekhyun growls. “So get your grubby hands off him. He’s mine.”

 

Okay. So he didn’t manage to make Baekhyun fall for him after all. Instead, he seems to have taken a liking to that nerdy Do Kyungsoo. But at least Baekhyun’s out of the picture.

 

But even then, that doesn’t mean things will go his way. Jongdae still loves Minseok, but the elder doesn’t see him like that. Not like the way he’s staring at Lu Han like he’s the only person in his eyes. And it really breaks him, especially after witnessing Minseok kiss Lu Han on the lips on the stage after the latter received his diploma. Later, it was revealed that they’ve been dating after they won the championships, only keeping it a secret because they fear that Minseok’s parents might not agree on the idea of them.

 

“It’s about time, you blokes.” Jongdae smiles, hooking Lu Han’s head and pulls him in a side-hug. Lu Han giggles at that before shooting a loving gaze at his boyfriend, who just finished talking to his favorite dongsaeng, Kyungsoo.

 

And he smiles. Even if he’s breaking, he smiles. Even if he can’t take it anymore, he smiles. Because that’s what he does best, masking his real emotions and letting his walls climb higher and higher until he mastered the art of controlling his emotions.

 

Even when Minseok and Lu Han got married, he smiles. Jongdae supports his cousin in each and every hard step they take, supporting them with a big pat on their backs when they hit a rocky road in their domestic life. Because as much as Jongdae wants to run away and leave everything behind, he can’t because he’s the only family Minseok has left. He’s the only person who understands Minseok. The only one who the elder confides in with his problems from his family. Jongdae is one of Minseok’s pillars. If he’s not there, there’s a big chance that the elder will break and fall down.

 

“Look, don’t worry about the money. I’ll cover your tuition. Just focus your attention on your studies.” Jongdae chuckles, squeezing Minseok’s shoulder. “And focus on your pregnant husband, dope.”

 

Jongdae smiles. He continues to keep smiling, watching the love of his life happy and contented with the life he has with Lu Han here at China. Even if the bags under Minseok’s eyes are beginning to look obvious because of juggling school (he’s graduating) and taking care of his newborn twins, Minseok is still happy and he wouldn’t trade it for anything. And seeing Minseok happy is enough to make Jongdae smile.

 

“When are you gonna get married, Jongdae?” His father asked him one time as they ate dinner.

 

Jongdae just smirks. “Me? Getting married?” His father frowns at the way he speaks. “I can’t see myself getting married, Father. Please,” He lifts his champagne flute. “I’d rather listen to you talking about the status of your company than my love life.”

 

His father’s frown deepens and just silently continues to eat, having no other idea to resolve the strain between their relationship as father and son.

 

Jongdae’s one night stands and other sex escapades is his other way of escaping the reality. He fools around, jumping from one girl to another or one boy to another only to get slapped by the end of the night because one of them finds out that they’re being two-timed. But most nights, Jongdae would score a fuck and quietly leaves the room when the latter is fast asleep. Sometimes, even walking out when the other is wide awake.

 

“Where are you going?” The girl grumbles, eyes half-open, trying to keep it from shutting.

 

“Home.” Jongdae smirks and winks, letting his tie hang around his neck. “You suck at giving blowjobs, by the way.” Upon hearing that, the girl’s eyes went wide. “Did you try practicing with an eggplant?”

 

It always ends up with Jongdae running out of the room, cackling as he tries to dodge the pillows that were thrown in his direction.

 

“Jongdae?” Lu Han furrows his eyebrows and ties the ropes of his robe together to hide his bare chest. “It’s 2 in the morning. What the hell are you—“The elder pauses momentarily to scan the younger male up and down. “Don’t tell me you’re…”

 

“Walk of shame, yeah.” Lu Han sighs and opens the door wide for Jongdae to enter.

 

For Jongdae, life is a game. If you don’t play, then game over. Of course, a game isn’t called a game if there’s no challenge.  And if there’s no challenge, that would be boring, right? Jongdae, as you can see, is really bored in his everyday life, not wanting to look at Minseok and Lu Han being all lovey dovey every fucking day because one: he’s grown numb from the pain through all the years and two: why waste time looking at them if he’d rather look for a person to fuck or fuck him?

 

It was good thing that Jongdae found one. There’s one problem, though.

 

“Hey, you.” The guy greeted Joonmyeon with that cute smile and dips his head to plant a quick kiss on his lips. “Sorry, I’m late.” And Joonmyeon responded with a giggle, arm sliding on the guy’s waist possessively as if he’s telling Jongdae that this guy isn’t available for him or anyone.

 

Yeah, the guy’s got a boyfriend. And not just any boyfriend. He’s dating the overly goody-good two shoes that’s somewhat of a push-over Kim Joonmyeon. Jongdae sighs at that because who digs good boys these days? They’re so… you know, they lack of excitement. He used to date one back when he’s still a sophomore at college and damn, that guy is so persistent. Too gooey and icky with sappy pick-up lines that he might puke rainbows because of overdose. And no, as much as it looks cute, Jongdae doesn’t do rainbows and unicorns and other of that girly shit.

 

But this man, Zhang Yixing, is a real challenge.

 

(He already saw Yixing back at Minseok and Lu Han’s wedding but did not bother to ask his name because Lu Han’s distant cousin is so damn sexy and alluring, which resulted with hot sex and a big whack on the back of his head once Lu Han found out. The sex was awesome, though.)

 

Despite the goody-good acts he does to his goody-good boyfriend, Joonmyeon, and even to everyone around him, he knows that Yixing is just like any other person. No one is that good. Even Lu Han, who he knows is a living saint, has a bad side who shows up mostly in bed, well, according to Minseok that is.

 

And Jongdae is determined to exploit that bad side.

 

Let’s start from temptations.

 

Every person has temptations, right? I mean, come on! No matter how you love a person, there’s always a time when you see another person that is so attractive, you can’t help but think what would happen if you were in a relationship with that person instead. It’s true. Don’t deny it.

 

But no. Instead of giving in, Yixing furrows his brows and gently pushes him away from the chest and politely bows his head in apology, telling him that he’s already in a romantic relationship with someone and that he should stop doing sexual passes because it’s not gonna work. (Jongdae swears he felt a vein pop on his forehead when he saw that smug look on Joonmyeon’s face after Yixing said that.)

 

“Jongdae, I’m warning you. Stay the hell away from my best friend.” Lu Han said sternly. “He’s not gonna be one of your sex toys, hear me?”

 

Jongdae winks at Lu Han after making a funny face on baby Sehun making said baby giggle. “Got’cha.”

 

He didn’t stop.

 

“You know that this will come and bite you back in the ass, Dae.” Minseok said one night during their drinking session, also known as Jongdae’s favorite time of the week. “Either you’ll get your heart broken or you’ll end getting kicked in the ass literally.”

 

Jongdae made a face after downing his shot glass. “Okay one: I definitely think that the latter might be possible and two: I don’t like Yixing like that so no, I don’t think so.” Minseok hums in amusement upon hearing that making Jongdae frown. “What?”

 

“I never said anything about liking Yixing.”

 

“But you were implying it.”

 

Minseok smirks. “I was actually talking about your one night stand escapades.”

 

Jongdae just rolls his eyes and downs another shot glass.

 

He does annoy Yixing and try to seduce him because he’s trying to exploit his bad side, right? Not because he— _he holds back a gag_ —likes the guy, right? I mean, Jongdae likes guys who’s full of excitement. He likes guys whose eyes sparkle in mischief because they’re about to do something reckless. But not—definitely not in a million years would he like Yixing, who looks at you with care, worry with that icky look that makes you puke and vomit rainbows and unicorns that shits everywhere they fly, especially those eyes! Those eyes that are too wide and gorgeous and so, so, so beautiful that locks you in a trance when you stare at those brown orbs that—okay, stop right there.

 

Jongdae blinks twice and drags his hand down his face as he stares at his reflection on the mirror with a horrified expression plastered on his face.

 

Fuck, he’s screwed.

 

“Hey Jongdae that---“Minseok’s words got cut off when Jongdae grabs him by the shoulder and forcefully turns him around so that they were facing each other. There were no loud thumps. He doesn’t feel the tingles anymore. It’s like his attraction to his cousin just magically flew away. “Are you okay?” Minseok asked, clapping Jongdae’s cheeks lightly in an attempt to wake him up. Said guy, however, stares at him like his soul just escaped a few seconds earlier. “Jongdae?”

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

Minseok raised an eyebrow. “Understand what exactly?”

 

Jongdae cups the elder’s cheeks. “I don’t feel anything anymore.”

 

The elder furrows his eyebrows. “I’m confused.”

 

“So am I.”

 

Just like that. He got over Kim Minseok after 23 years of unrequited love and all that broken hearted emo bullshit. He got over him just like that. As simple as that. It started when he wake up one morning, horrified because Zhang Yixing has been invading his dreams in 2 weeks straight until all he sees in every fucking person he’s gonna fuck is Zhang Yixing’s fucking face with that fucking smile and that fucking cute dimple on his cheek. GODAMMIT WHY THE FUCK IS HE THINKING ABOUT HIM?!

 

Those usual nights where Jongdae would grab a chick or a hottie and pin him or her on the wall near their hotel room, probably scarring the people who pass by them as they do, before proceeding to do the actual process of sex inside the hotel room, gone. All gone just because of this…this…fucking Zhang Yixing and his cute smile that’s printed on Jongdae’s mind permanently. And he can’t seem to stop it from always appearing in every direction he turns—

 

Jongdae groans again. “What the fuck is wrong with me?!” He shouts, startling Yixing who was just innocently chewing a cheese roll. He pauses mid-chew and stares at Jongdae with one eyebrow raised. “Why are you always following me?!”

 

Yixing, alarmed, points at himself with a questioning look.

 

“Yes, yes. You!” Jongdae points at said guy. “Why are you always plaguing my mind?” He pokes the elder’s chest. “Why, why, why, why?!” Yixing blinks twice. “I’m dreaming, aren’t I?” Jongdae slurs. He thought he smelled scotch on his shirt, but Jongdae shrugs. By the way, how many shots did he take tonight? “This is all just a freaking dream and what I’m holding right now—“Jongdae curls his fingers on Yixing’s navy blue dress shirt. “—is my pillow.”

 

“Uhh…”

 

“Sshh… Pillows don’t talk so you’re not allowed to talk, understand?” Jongdae says, pressing his finger on the elder’s lips, said guy’s eyes went wide at the close proximity between their faces. “You have no right to talk because this is my dream, ergo, I am in charge of it.”

 

“Jongdae are you drunk?”

 

“No for I cannot get drunk.” Jongdae slurs. “Plus, I do not drink beer or any kind of alcohol.”

 

“You smell like scotch.”

 

“You smell nothing, pillow! Pillows have no nose!” He then presses his head against the elder’s chest. “So soft.” He whispers, oblivious at the fact that Yixing’s body stiffens at the sudden contact. “So, so, so soft.”

 

Yixing clears his throat. “Jongdae?”

 

“I’m in love with you, pillow that looks a lot like Zhang Yixing.” He murmurs. “And as much as I want to kiss you right now, I can’t because the need to punch you is much higher than that of the latter because I can’t sleep a wink with you always appearing in my dreams. And of course, awesome people don’t do violence. Well, except if you’re into bdsm. But that type of violence is okay because the other likes it. But it’s not actually violence if the—“

 

Everything went black after that.


	2. Final Chapter Part II

Jongdae doesn’t remember anything after that. He just woke up one morning with a massive hangover, groaning in pain and it didn’t help that the twins find his misery an amusement (Sehun climbed up on his back and whacked his head while shouting _horsie_ while Tao, however, continues to shoot his face with a water gun.)

 

“H-Help.” He calls out weakly, hand reaching to Minseok but the elder just laughs out loud.

 

Nothing changed with his relationship with Minseok, in fact, it only become stronger. Unlike before, Jongdae doesn’t hold back anymore and clings to the elder frequently, the butterflies and the attraction completely gone in his system. And Jongdae is happy. Well, mostly.

 

Joonmyeon is, well, scowling at him extra hard now and so is Yixing for reasons unknown, but it’s quite clear that the latter is only forced to do it. The conversations that Yixing and him had before is now gone, having no time to talk because Joonmyeon is always right there beside his boyfriend. And it’s really frustrating. Like so, so, so frustrating that’s he’s really tempted to punch that smug look off Joonmyeon’s face.

 

“Aish, that guy.” Jongdae hisses and bites back a curse when he spotted a 6-year old Tao running towards him.

 

 

The guy’s jealous, he thought. I mean, of course who wouldn’t be? Even Baekhyun gets all riled up when Jongdae looks, right, you heard it, **looks** at Kyungsoo. He remembers getting cornered up on the wall (yes, Jongdae can’t help but think dirty thoughts about that) hands around his neck on chokehold (not too tight, Baekhyun isn’t that strong, anyway. His strength is like a hamster) with a scowling Baekhyun who’s face is close to his, eyes hard and cold. He remembers Baekhyun cursing him, telling him that he will fucking castrate him if he looks at Kyungsoo or even thinks about him. And Jongdae just laughs because come on! They weren’t even dating at that time. Plus, the nerd is avoiding him like a plague.

 

The way Joonmyeon is glaring at him kind of reminds him of Baekhyun, well, without the castrate threat.

 

But of course, that only got Jongdae riled up. The flirts went double and the suggestive glances and talks became more, well, let’s just say that it’s inappropriate for children. And Jongdae can tell that Yixing is getting upset. He smirks. Well, well, well. Looks like he’s not screwed after all.

 

“Hey, hey, hey.” Jongdae crouches down to Sehun, who’s crying loudly on the Kim’s backyard, tears continuously flowing down and snot almost reaching down his mouth. Jongdae made sure to wipe his nephew’s nose first. “What’s wrong buddy?”

 

“T-Toy… br-broken.”

 

Jongdae darted his stare at the stuffed animal at the boy’s side, ripped to shreds. He hums at the sight, picking it up with brows furrowed. Must be the neighbor’s cat’s doing. Jongdae sighs and smiles, reaching over to pat Sehun’s head. “How about…” He picks the boy up his arms. “…Uncle Jongdae buy you a new toy while you wait for…”

 

“Pinkeu Pinkeu.”

 

“Right, pinkeu pinkeu to get fixed, hmm? Like that?” Sehun nods upon hearing that, a wide smile plastering his former sobbing face. “Now, let’s go and get you dressed up for your birthday before the guests arrive. You’re 7 today meaning you’re a big boy now. Big boys don’t cry.” The moment he turned around, Jongdae’s eyes went wide upon seeing Yixing staring at him with eyes he can’t explain. It was soft, completely different from the way he usually looks at him. It was weird, really.

 

Jongdae furrows his brows. “What?”

 

Yixing just smiles before approaching them, getting Sehun from his arms. And with a low, yet deep and incredibly sexy voice, he whispers. “So cute.” After saying that, he walks off with Sehun in his arms, leaving Jongdae with one eyebrow unevenly raised and mouth slightly gaping in disbelief, heart pounding so fast that Jongdae thinks it’s gonna explode.

 

Fuck, he’s screwed. He’s definitely screwed.

 

It seems like Jongdae is losing his touch. This is the first time he lost a life in a game. It was always a flawless victory, getting what he wants without even lifting a finger. But no. Zhang Yixing is really a tough case to handle.

 

First, he began to feel it, bit by bit.

 

Jongdae reaches for a champagne flute but frowns when one of Lu Han’s cousins beat him to it, immediately downing the delicious drink. But right in cue, he felt a champagne flute nudging his side. Jongdae grabs it with a thankful smile. “Oh, thank you—“And just like that, he drops it, feeling a sudden spark when his fingers accidentally grazed at the person who handed him the drink—or should I say, Yixing.

 

Said guy’s eyes went wide when he saw the alcohol pour down on Jongdae’s expensive suit. “Oh my god. Wait, here. Let me go and get some towel.” When he came back, Jongdae was nowhere to be seen.

 

Second came denials.

 

“Jongdae, do you like—“

 

“How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t like Yixing like that, hyung?!” Jongdae exclaims making Lu Han’s eyes went wide in surprise. He opens his mouth again to speak. “You cannot just force someone to like a person, geez! Get off my case!” And with that, Jongdae walks out with a scowl, who accidentally bumps Minseok along the way.

 

Minseok looks at his cousin weirdly before approaching his husband. “What did you tell him?”

 

Lu Han looks helpless for a moment. He’s not used to someone shouting at him, see? “I just wanted to ask him if he likes carbonara for dinner later.”

 

Then there’s the acceptance.

 

“I love you, Yixing-oppa~” Jongdae coos, batting his eyelashes like some stereotypical cheerleader that he sees on glee, hips swaying in an attempt to look sexy but he actually looks like that crazy pale girl at the grudge. Yixing, upon hearing that, slowly backs away, eyes wide in surprise and let’s not forget about Joonmyeon, who got an ugly scowl plastered on his face.

 

And of course, rejection.

 

“You really need to stop, Jongdae.” Yixing pushes him away with a big frown. “Seriously, please stop. You’re only wasting your time.”

 

Jongdae would just smirk upon hearing that and winks at the elder. But what Yixing doesn’t know that what he’s telling is true. He really loves Yixing like that, even if his efforts were always pushed away and rejected. Love is really cruel, Jongdae thought in frustration. First, it came to his cousin, which is doomed from the start even before it blossomed. And now, love directed him to a person who is already in a romantic relationship with someone, he’s head-over-heels in fact.

 

Sometimes Jongdae wants to cry, but even before the waterworks came bursting, he forcefully pushes his attention away from that and buries himself in work. He’s not gonna cry over a person, he says to himself. After his heartbreak from Minseok, he’s not gonna cry again and he refuses to cry over Yixing.

 

So his efforts are wasted in due time, so what? At least he tried. At least he tried to snatch a man he knows he can’t have from the very start. He already accepted that fact. What started as a game, turned out to be a serious thing. Jongdae didn’t expect it. He really didn’t. But the moment he’s gonna raise the white flag after 5 years of pinning over Yixing, he found out from Minseok that Joonmyeon and Yixing broke up.

 

Shock was an understatement on what Jongdae felt that night during his drinking session with Minseok. And after hearing that, he doesn’t feel like drinking anymore. He made a troubled face and places his drink down, eyes wide and mind jumbled with thoughts of how Yixing is coping and what is he feeling right now. Well, of course Yixing is crying his eyes out, I mean, come on! Who doesn’t cry over a break up? If you’re not serious, yes, but Yixing loves Joonmyeon for crying out loud!

 

His first instinct is to come over to Yixing’s place and comfort him, but he decided against it after a few minutes of debating with himself.

 

The guy needs space after all. He needs time to sort it all out. He needs time to put the pieces back together and Jongdae knows that it will only get worse when he adds his presence during the mourning period. So Jongdae busies himself with work instead, occasionally dropping by to his cousin’s place to visit Sehun and Tao before going back on locking himself in his office and work for hours.

 

_“We’re going to check up on Yixing, you coming?”_

 

Jongdae rubs his forehead, shifting the phone on his other ear. “No, sorry. Got so much work today. In fact, I’m packed the whole month and probably for the next month also. We need to prepare a lot before the hotel’s review day.”

 

Lu Han sighs. _“I see.”_

 

It took a year before they crossed paths, meeting accidentally in the grocery store, which ended with them having waffles at Jongdae’s fancy apartment. It was a good thing that Yixing hasn’t changed after that “rough” break up with Joonmyeon. Well, physically speaking.

 

Jongdae freezes midway on stuffing his mouth with waffles. Did...Did Yixing just winked at him? “Who are you and what did you do to Zhang Yixing?” He said after a minute, eyes wide in surprise.

 

“I’m still me, Jongdae.” Yixing said, slicing a piece of waffle on his plate before looking up at him with an incredibly sexy smirk plastered on his face. “Only sexier and more handsome than before.” He flashes a wink again making Jongdae raise an eyebrow in disbelief.

 

Holy freaking mother of fried baozis.

 

Yixing turns out to be a flirt. It was revealed that he grew to have this personality over time after being exposed to Jongdae’s passes and constant flirts. He’s still the same Yixing, though. The only difference is, he now have comebacks whenever Jongdae would annoy the hell out of him. He’s changed…a lot.

 

It became their thing, eating waffles at noon without their friends knowing. For all they know they’re still on the same phase as before, bickering and annoy each other until Minseok has to break them off because Lu Han is getting pissed (yeah, you don’t want to get Lu Han mad. That would be very, very bad.) But Jongdae, being Jongdae, doesn’t stop, well, until Lu Han whacked him on the head so hard it almost made him cry. Yixing just laughs, though.

 

But even then, they would find themselves sneaking glances at the other, a smirk or a knowing smile slowly spreading on their faces. Even when they’re bickering, Jongdae could see that glint on Yixing’s eyes, like telling him that he enjoys this _thing_ they have. This _thing_ that only he and Jongdae knows. (It was a good thing Minseok and Lu Han are oblivious as fuck.)

 

A year passed and Jongdae feels contented with his relationship with Yixing. No commitment, just casual flirts and their meaningful touches and stares, but other than that, no. He knows Yixing is afraid. He knows that the elder is afraid to jump into another relationship, fearing that he’ll get hurt again, even more painful than what he felt when Joonmyeon and he broke up. So the moment Yixing confessed to him, Jongdae got the biggest shock of his life.

 

( **a/n: for more details with the confession bit, see[Being with You (xiuhan version) short stories](https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/773305/3/being-with-you-xiuhan-version-romance--mpreg-exo-xiuhan-baeksoo) chapter) **

 

“Does this mean you’re my boyfriend now?” Jongdae murmured against Yixing’s lips, eyes still closed. Yixing hums in amusement upon hearing that, pulling the younger male close to him until their chests were flushed together in a tight squeeze.

 

“Since you’re obviously the girl in the relationship, I’d like to call you my girlfriend.” He smirks.

 

Jongdae narrows his eyes. “Shut up, you.”

 

It’s been years since Jongdae last dated someone and none of it were this serious not unlike Yixing. In fact, Yixing is his first serious relationship ever. He tends to fool around, but with the elder, it was like fooling around but only with him, and him alone. And Jongdae feels weird, like super weird. He’s never that cheesy. In fact, he’s not a big fan of cheese (he hated cheese because they always gets stuck on your gums.) But with Yixing… it was like, Jongdae’s not himself.

 

“I’m cheating on you.” Jongdae said to the elder one time during their coffee dates. And as expected, Yixing’s eyes widen in surprise.

 

“W-What?” came out a whisper and Jongdae swears he heard his voice crack.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Yixing looks in every direction, not including the man in front of him, eyes closed to tears. “So…” He pauses a bit to let out a shaky breath. “Who is it?”

 

“His name is Zhang Yixing.”

 

“Oh, I—wait…” The elder did a double take before closing his eyes in frustration, shooting a glare at the smirking Jongdae in front of him a few seconds later. “What the fuck, Jongdae?!” He slams his fist on the table, gaining the attention of other customers and it was not helping that Jongdae seems to be calm and collected, smirk not wavering. “I thought—I thought you were—“It was then that he realizes what date it is today. Yixing sighs. “I hate you so much.”

 

“Love you too, babe.” Jongdae winks.

 

(“April fools, darling!” Jongdae grins cheekily, arms wrapped around the sulking male for a back hug. Yixing sighs. From that time, Yixing made sure to check what date it is today before starting the day.)

 

Yixing opens up to him more and more every day, something that made Jongdae feel extra special. He learns about the elder’s past and his insecurities and other things that made him feel small. And in turn, Jongdae opens up to him, letting his walls collapse for the first time. He tells Yixing how he loves his carrier father and how his giver father changed after his death. He tells him that the strain between them will forever be there, forgotten but still not healed. The awkwardness and the tension only getting thicker when they meet so Jongdae told his father that they’ll only see each other once a year.

 

Yixing listened intently, holding Jongdae’s hand through it. And in that moment, Jongdae swears he’s never gonna let this guy go.

 

Upon reaching 2 months in the relationship, Yixing surprises Jongdae with bags beside him, a small grin plastered on his cute face.

 

“So are you just gonna stand there or are you gonna help me settle my clothes in your closet?” Without a second thought, Jongdae pulls Yixing in a deep kiss.

 

Their first time was, and will always be, super amazing.

 

They were really hungry, like craving for food kind of hungry, when suddenly Jongdae got this urge to eat Yixing instead. But instead of him eating the elder, the tables turned and Jongdae found himself lying on the countertop with legs dangling on both sides of Yixing’s shoulder, the elder’s face buried just between his thighs.

 

“O-Oh god…” Jongdae moans, squeezing his eyes shut.  “P-Please…I want—need more.”

 

“Did I say you could speak?” Yixing sternly said, voice lacing with authority and Jongdae suddenly felt small upon hearing that, making him whimper as he shakes his head in response. Yixing smirks. “Good boy.” He pats Jongdae’s butt cheek twice before plunging his tongue back inside Jongdae’s puckered hole.

 

They ended up fucking until dawn and Jongdae can barely stand, even sorting on crawling on the floor just to get to the bathroom.

 

“T-Too sore… Need…” Jongdae pants, chest heaving up and down in a rapid rate. “…need to breathe…”

 

“Ahh, but you’re still hard.” Yixing trails his finger on Jongdae’s sensitive member making said guy moan out weakly, lazily swatting his boyfriend’s arm in protest. “Such a needy little whore, are you?”

 

“Fuck, Yixing. I swear I am so gonna kill you after _aahh_ … _ahh_ … _ahhh_ …shit.” Jongdae watches as the elder’s tongue slide on his shaft before taking him whole, head viciously bobbing up and down making the younger male whine breathlessly, squirming at the feeling of oversensitivity. “S-Stop, please. I-I can’t…can’t come.” But Jongdae is moaning loudly, fingers threaded on Yixing’s hair. “Feels good.”

 

Yixing apparently was a wild beast in bed, something that contradicts his friendly and gentle nature. Jongdae loves it, nevertheless, loving the fact that his sexual desires and fantasies are coming to life thanks to this guy. Sex has never been this good in his entire life.

 

Jongdae moans breathlessly, cheeks pressed against the wall and hands tied behind his back with a jumping rope, feeling the hard and rapid thrusts of Yixing behind him. “You gonna talk back, huh? You gonna disobey me again, Jongdae?”

  
“N-No.” Jongdae whimpers. “I’m sorry. Not gonna—“He lets out a shrill cry of pleasure. “—talk back anymore.”

 

Yixing smirks against his shoulder. “Good boy.”

 

Yixing brings out the best and worst in Jongdae, pushing his buttons and makes him feel like he’s at the top of the world. The elder is the reason why Jongdae grew a bit mature the past few years (hah! Take that Minseok-hyung!) And the reason why his drinking habits stopped permanently.

 

“So Father’s coming to eat dinner next Wednesday, says he’s gonna bring wine.” Jongdae says after reading the e-mail his father had sent him a few minutes ago.

 

“Then let me take care of the preparations, baby.” Yixing smiles and presses a soft kiss on the side of his head when he passed by him.

 

Did he ever mentioned that Yixing is also the reason why his father and he are in good terms now?

 

Yup. He’s definitely a keeper.

 

Yixing never fails to surprise him. Especially that time when he saw the elder pulls out a ring in his front pocket, asking the younger male to marry him with that gorgeous smile on his face. Of course, Jongdae wants to say yes, but then…

 

“Are you sure?” Jongdae asks him, eyes wide and frantic and so scared. “Even if I can’t—even I’m—“

 

“I want to be with you.” Yixing whispers. “I want to wake up in the morning with you beside me. I want to look forward on every tomorrow with you and I want to you to be with me in each and every step that I take.” He smiles. “I am so madly and irrevocably in love with you Kim Jongdae. I love every trait, every smile and every gaps that makes you who you are. And I am willing to look forward in discovering new traits that I’ll love either way. So I’m gonna ask you again.” He took a deep breath and chuckles softly, plastering that smile that doesn’t fail to make Jongdae’s heart skip a beat. “Will you marry me?”  

 

Jongdae would be a fool not to say yes.

 

The wedding was amazing. Not only did he get to dance with his father, but he also got the chance to share a dance with Minseok, his first love. It was a bittersweet feeling, his arms wrapped securely around the elder’s neck as the latter sways them against the beat of the music. He’s really thankful to all the good things he has done and still counting, because even if things weren’t on his favor, Minseok thought him not to give up. And as Jongdae watches Minseok walk back to Lu Han, he smiles.

 

_Thank you for being a part of my life, hyung_.

 

“Love?”

 

Jongdae snapped back to reality, slamming the wedding album close once he heard his husband’s voice calling him. He carefully cranes his head and smiles at his husband. “Yes, darling?”

 

Yixing furrows his brows, eyes not leaving the iPad on his hand as he approaches Jongdae, sitting beside his husband upon reaching his destination. “Baekhyun told us to get our asses there in Seoul because he apparently just gave birth to their third child.” Yixing pauses a bit to drag the message down, chuckling softly upon seeing the photo of Kyungsoo holding a little baby on his arms. “The baby’s a girl.”

 

“Well, well, well.” Jongdae hums in amusement. “What’s her name?”

 

“It says here that…” Yixing squints his eyes. “…Baekhyun insisted on naming her Taken.” Jongdae giggles when he realizes what he meant by that. “But in the end, they settled down on Seulgi instead.” He then places the piece of technology on the end table. “So are we going then?”

 

Jongdae grins. “Definitely.”

 

For Jongdae, life is still a game.

 

“Just so you know,” Yixing leans forward and wraps his arms securely on Jongdae’s waist, lips dangerously close on his ear. “We don’t have time for ourselves when we went there so…” Jongdae turns his head to the side, smirking when saw that knowing look on his husband.

 

Though this time, he’s playing it with Yixing.

 

 


	3. Bonus Chapter

The day his father left the house was the day Yixing’s perspective of love changes.

 

He watches as his carrier father pleads for his giver father to stop and stay even begging on his knees. But sadly, the latter kept a firm face and pushes him away before leaving the house, but not before mumbling an apology for his actions. It was for the best, he said. If things were different, then maybe everything is okay, he said. But it wasn’t okay. And it probably never will.

 

With wide eyes, he approaches his crying father, who wrapped him in a tight hug almost immediately after the man settled his gaze on his young boy. He was shaking, his chest clenching painfully and heartbroken from what happened. He didn’t expect it to happen.

 

“Where’s Daddy, Baba?” He asked one time.

 

His Baba tenses a bit before sighing. “Daddy’s gone, Xing-ah. It’s just you and me now.”

 

Yixing pouts upon hearing that. He loves his Daddy. He’s the one who always brings him toys and gives him a goodnight kiss to drive the nightmares away. “But I want Daddy.” He sniffles, tearing a bit. “I want Daddy.”

 

“I want him back too, baby.” His Baba smiles sadly while caressing his son’s hair.

 

10 years old Yixing still hopes for his Daddy to come back.

 

At 14, he began to search for his whereabouts; secretly looking at his Daddy’s old phonebook and calls his friends there.

 

At 15, he finally found him with the help of his Daddy’s old officemate. He wanted to go there and wrap him in a tight hug, tell him how much he missed him and to come back home with his Baba. But after seeing his Daddy kiss a pregnant woman and lift a 5 years old girl in his arms, he felt sad—no—depressed.

 

“Sorry, champ.” Uncle Siwon, his Daddy’s officemate tells him with a sad smile as he ruffles his hair affectionately. “We better get home now or else your Baba will notice you’re gone.”

 

After that, Yixing takes out all of the things that reminded him of his giver father and burn them at the back of his house. The storybooks that he bought, the toys, even pictures of him, all thrown out. And as he watches them burn into ashes, he swore that he will never walked out and dessert the man or woman that he’s destined to and that he will love and cherish him/her for eternity.

 

At the age of 17, his father and he crossed paths on his way home. The man called out his name, but due to his anger and hatred, Yixing didn’t spare him a glance and pours all of his attention to his noisy friends beside him. 

 

“Baba, don’t worry.” Yixing reaches out to grab his father’s hand making the man look at him with brows furrowed in confusion. “I’m never gonna leave you. I’m gonna stay by your side forever.”

 

His Baba smiles. “I’m happy to hear that, son, but I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life here. Sooner or later, you need to go out and find yourself a good job, maybe meeting a good husband or wife along the way.” He was about to protest but his father interrupted him with a tight squeeze on his fingers.  “You’re not coming back here unless you give me a grandchild, Yixing. No, make that grandchildren and I want 10.” His Baba told him with a playful glare. Yixing chuckles softly upon hearing that and slowly nodded in affirmation.

 

So after getting a degree and settling in a nice job, Yixing followed his father’s wishes to go out and explore the city alone while carrying the promise of giving his Baba grandchildren (he’s not sure if he could give him ten, though.)

 

The search was tough; Yixing found a few nice girls and nice guys but none of them caught his attention. He even looked everywhere in Seoul, hoping that someone will catch his fancy. But to no avail, he kept on going on a dead end. It always ended up with drinking, accidentally getting drunk, reciprocating the grinding behind him or the seductive stares he’s getting, have mindless sex and wakes up with a massive hangover wearing nothing.

 

“Chanyeol.”

 

Said guy looks up with brows knitted in confusion before sighing. “I put your clothes in the hamper already, hyung. Smells like booze.”

 

Yixing groans. “Then what about--?”

 

“She left a few hours ago.” The elder sighs upon hearing that. And there he thought they have a thing going on. Maybe she doesn’t like to be manhandled? Or maybe she just sees him as another one night stand material. He heaves another sigh. This sucks. “Oh, and hyung?”

 

Yixing raises his brows. “What?”

 

Chanyeol shakes his hand as he points at him in mock disgust. “Please put some clothes on. I don’t want to see the uh—those _marks_ near your penis. It’s—“He shudders. “—disturbing.”

 

(He left the country 2 years after finding a good job with a higher pay back at China, leaving the tall male on the apartment. Although sad, Chanyeol still wishes him the best.)

 

There, he met Kim Joonmyeon.

 

The moment he first saw the guy, he knew that his search was over—wait, no scratch that. Yixing is, and always will be, an oblivious person even when he’s still a kid (Lu Han can justify that.) Love confessions and other of that cheesy romantic bullcrap where shrugged off as a friendly gesture so if any person would fall for this guy, well, bad luck. (Instant friendzone) So to make things clear, the first time Yixing saw Joonmyeon, he feels troubled—worried especially when the guy frowns at the map. It took him a few minutes before he eventually walk up to him and ask for directions, which Yixing offers his help without hesitation.

 

As days then months passed, Joonmyeon’s attraction for Yixing grew. Yixing, however, sees Joonmyeon as a close friend.

 

And it amuses him; he silently watches Joonmyeon slap his face in the mirror a few times, talking to himself about growing some balls and ask this _him_ out. His mouth forms an ‘o’, greatly happy and amazed that the elder already likes someone during his short stay here. But he has no idea that this _person_ Joonmyeon’s been talking about constantly is actually him so the moment the elder asked him out, he thought, why not?

 

  But what he didn’t expect is to fall for him along the way.

 

He fell in love with Joonmyeon during a stormy night. It was raining viciously, the pitter patter of the rain hitting the roof without mercy as flashes of lightning and thunder came booming at the sky. It was their 100th day as a couple and it disappoints him that the plans for tonight was put on hold. They were supposed to enjoy that play Joonmyeon wants to see and eat at some fancy restaurant that Yixing secretly booked for the evening to surprise his boyfriend. Sadly, that all ended up as a short message of _sorry, let’s move it tomorrow night_ from Joonmyeon. And as the ever understanding boyfriend he is, he agreed.

 

But to his surprise, he found Joonmyeon soaked up from head to toe in front of his door step, shaking violently as he looks up at a shocked Yixing with a small smile. “Surprise?” He says, shivering from the cold. Yixing mutters a curse in mandarin while pulling him inside, immediately running towards the room to get a towel and a few extra clothes for him to wear.

 

But it seems like Joonmyeon never fails to surprise him.

 

Once dry, he sheds his wet clothes on the living room revealing those milky white chest for Yixing to see. He was cold and just a little touch of the younger got Joonmyeon shuddering, moaning against the heat. “This was supposed to be my surprise for you.” He whispers, slowly draping his arms on his boyfriend’s neck. Yixing was never to deny everything that Joonmyeon gives him, so he accepts, giving small kisses on his chest before planting it firmly against the elder’s wet lips.

 

 But that wasn’t the reason why he fell in love with the elder, no. It was the moment when he opens his eyes and sees Joonmyeon beside him, looking at him filled with love and adoration that it made his heart skip a beat. It feels good, he thought. He wanted to feel this good forever. It was then that he realizes that he wanted to wake up every morning with Joonmyeon beside him—to look at his beautiful face before starting a new day. He wants to be with him.

 

The first time he made love to Joonmyeon, everything was slow, gentle and full of delicate kisses and touches that got the elder moaning; small sighs escaping his lips as he arch his back against Yixing’s warm skin.

 

“Hey.” Joonmyeon smiles up at him. “I love you, you know that right?” Yixing completely stops his movements and nodded in response. “Then make love to me like you mean it.”

 

And so he did.

 

(“What happened to you?” Lu Han asked Joonmyeon during their “shopping time”, as Lu Han would call it. He didn’t want to, but the younger was walking limply, wincing every second or so in every movement he makes. That couldn’t be sex, of course. Because sure his ass feels sore when Minseok would go rough on him sometimes and it hurts like hell if he walked, but not like that. Then again, this is Yixing he’s having sex with. Yixing wouldn’t even hurt a fly much less like rough sex. “Did you like, fell or something?” He asked, worried.

 

“Kind of.” Joonmyeon shrugs, faintly remembering Yixing fucking him on the staircase last night.)

 

Joonmyeon accepted him, knows his weaknesses and strengths and builds him up. And for that, Yixing is truly grateful. He even introduced him to his Baba one time and Joonmyeon flushes at the questions of the elder, asking them when they are planning to tie the knot. Of course, even Lu Han and Minseok is already asking that. They’ve been dating for years after all.

 

But then, temptation rolls in.

 

The word temptation starts with a T and ends with an N in the Webster’s dictionary. But for Yixing, temptation spells with K-I-M J-O-N-G-D-A-E.

 

Jongdae, Minseok’s distant (or not) cousin, first appears in his life the first time he attended the twin’s birthday party. He wasn’t present during the past few years due to business matters (building that hotel up from the ashes into a 5 star one) so he opted to shower his full attention to his dearest nephews. But it seems like the kids’ aren’t the only one getting Jongdae’s attention.

 

Yixing, being oblivious, interpreted the advances as friendly gestures, an act of wanting to get to know a person even more. He’s clueless as to why Joonmyeon’s relationship with Jongdae isn’t that great, even encouraging the elder to spend some time with the younger to help their relationship. (Joonmyeon looks at him in disbelief upon hearing that)

 

“He likes you!”

 

Yixing raises his brows in astonishment. “He does?”

 

Joonmyeon sighs, trying to understand how clueless his boyfriend is. “Why does he even bother to stick around you if he doesn’t?”

 

Yixing shrugs. “Maybe he wants to be best friends.” Joonmyeon just clamps his eyes in disbelief before walking away. “Joonmyeon? Joonie, where are you going? Wait, hey!”

 

From then on, he acts like he’ disgusted with the younger, pushing him away with a polite bow and asks for him to stop with his advances. The last thing he wanted to do is to hurt Jongdae—wait, no then that would mean it’s still on the list. But the point is, Yixing doesn’t want to hurt Jongdae. He wants the man to find someone that would love him, even take care and fully stop his constant drinking habit. But Jongdae, he learns, is actually a man that’s afraid of commitment.

 

Everything about Jongdae from top to bottom, inside and out is exactly the type of person that his Baba tells him to stay away from. The guy’s a party-goer, sometimes the reason why Minseok comes home drunk (thus, the start of Lu Han getting strict to his husband about drinking and just tells the two men to drink at the backyard) and the reason why most of time there would be a large red handprint stuck on his cheek, probably from his last night’s conquest. Jongdae is definitely not a husband material.

 

But then when he’s there with Sehun and Tao, he sees it. He didn’t mean to, but he did. He saw how Jongdae’s playful look and game face suddenly got soft and warm, lips twitched into a silly grin as he plays with Tao and his Legos. Yixing’s eyes went wide in surprise. It’s weird seeing Jongdae, who he have known to be a player and an easy-going guy to be like this to children. He even got Sehun to stop his tantrum in just a few seconds unlike the boy’s parents who spent almost an hour at most to stop the boy.

 

Kim Jongdae is truly a remarkable person.

 

As time passed, Yixing found himself secretly watching—observing the younger male during the time when he thought he was all alone. He would smile and just lean there, staring, looking at the man flashing that cute Cheshire grin that never fails to make him mirror the expression.

 

Admiration was what he felt towards the younger. And due to that, Yixing, not fully aware of what’s happening, finds himself talking to him, exchanging a few pleasantries before engaging in a decent conversation. He learns that Jongdae is proud and loud in public, but when they’re just in the presence of the children, he can be gentle, smiling a bit here and there.

 

Joonmyeon is jealous, yes, and the elder didn’t even try to hide it. But Yixing assures him that he is his one and only and that Jongdae is nothing but a good friend. He made it a point to finally buy an engagement ring for his boyfriend to stop his worries, even taking his good time in picking something special, asking for Minseok’s opinion. (“Just give him something that catches your eye. I mean, every carrier would still die in happiness if they’re being proposed to.” Minseok grins at him.)

 

But then, Yixing noticed something that got his heart breaking.

 

He denied it at first; getting up in the middle of the night to look at himself in the mirror and convince himself that it was nothing and he is just misinterpreting everything. But as days passed he notices—realizes what the meaning behind Joonmyeon’s longing stares is. It started with the elder denying him when he hugs him just after the twins left with their Appa. And then, it evolves into Joonmyeon getting over excited and eager when the twins are staying at their place.

 

Yixing had enough.

 

“Yixing. Yixing, please.” Joonmyeon sobs, clinging to the younger’s arm like his life depended on it. “I-I’m sorry. Please, don’t leave. I-I don’t—I’m not in love with Tao, Yixing. Please, believe me.” Yixing sighs, glaring at the door in an attempt to stop the tears from falling. “I-I love you, not him. Yixing, please!”

 

Yixing lets out a shaky sigh and pulls his arm away from the elder’s grasp and walks out of Joonmyeon’s life.

 

That night, he stares at the silver ring that’s between his fingers, thinking about the possible scenario that would happen if he’d just close his eyes about what he notices and propose instead. Would it make a difference? Would they be happy or would they live the rest of their lives living out a lie? He sighs and puts the ring back in the box, snapping it shut.

 

(“Hyung, W-What’s this?”

 

“It’s yours.” Yixing smiles at Chanyeol, pushing the blue velvet box towards the younger’s direction. “Give it to someone that you know you’ll be with forever.” The younger hums in confusion, clearly surprised at what’s happening. This wasn’t what he expected when he visited the elder here in China.

 

“Oh.” Chanyeol gulps, staring at the box before looking at Yixing. “Are you sure? This looks so expensive.”

 

Yixing nods with a weak smile. “I don’t have any use for it anymore.”)

 

Mourning period for Yixing is torture, not only suffering from heart break but also guilt after realizing that he left Joonmyeon the way his father left his Baba and him when he was still a kid. And it angers him. He hates himself for putting Joonmyeon through the way his Baba did. He hates that he just walked out instead of talking, and if possible, fixing their relationship. He’s nothing but a coward, he thought.

 

“Hey, hey, hey. Stop crying, Xing.” Lu Han whispers against the younger’s hair as he rocks the man back and forth like a child. But Yixing didn’t stop, even clinging to Lu Han even harder.

 

It was Joonmyeon who broke up with him, well, that was what they all know. The truth was, Yixing was the one who broke things off between them. But Joonmyeon, during his fit and rage, angrily shouts at him that he’s the one who’s breaking things off not Yixing. He’s the one who’s breaking up with him, telling Yixing that he’s crazy for his assumptions. And Yixing, being the kind of person he was, told Lu Han that Joonmyeon was the one who broke things off with him but chooses not to tell the reason instead.

 

Yixing saw Jongdae once at the bar where he learned that the younger is actually a regular customer there during the weekends. He would frown whenever the younger would drink, laughing all the tiredness away and forces himself to be jolly even if it’s clear that he’s not. That got Yixing thinking. What’s troubling him, he wonders.

 

It was supposed to be a one-time thing, but it ended up with watching (more like stalking) Jongdae at his leisure time at the bar. It’s not that he’s worried (he is, actually) but the younger’s drinking habits have gone mad and it really needs to be stopped. And after hearing what Lu Han said about Jongdae telling them that the only time he drinks is when he’s with Minseok, he knew that he has to take things in his own way. He’s lying. But that’s expected if the person you’re talking about is Kim Jongdae.

 

He crosses paths with Jongdae a year after the break-up at a grocery store. They became friends, of course, having the invisible line gone because Yixing is no longer attached to someone. Jongdae doesn’t seem to change and still keeps on flirting with him, though. But unlike the old days, Yixing has grown to be used to that and learned how to say any comebacks with a smirk on his face which greatly surprises the younger.

 

“Hey!”

 

“Yeah, you’re cut off.” Yixing wiggles his brows teasingly before taking a sip of the bottle of beer that he just snatched from the younger’s grasp. “It’s Sunday and you’ve got work tomorrow. Plus, I’m not you’re driver nor your chaperone so go to the counter and pay for the drinks so that we can get you home.”

 

Jongdae rolls his eyes but he was smiling.

 

Being with Jongdae was very frustrating. Because for the first time in his life, Yixing was hoping, waiting for the younger male to make a move. It’s clear that the man still harbors feeling for him. Either that or he’s just fooling around again. Yixing doesn’t care anyways. Because everything is worth the risk, he says. So in the end, he got tired of waiting and for the first time in his life, he was the one who made the first move. Jongdae was surprised and of course mad, but Yixing knows, expects his sudden confession to end with a happy note.

 

When they pulled away, Jongdae giggles, scrunching his nose after. “I feel like I’m some girl in a cheesy novel or something.”

 

Yixing hums, grinning. “I like kissing you, so just shut up and do it, Jongdae.”

 

He thought he knew everything there is to know about his now boyfriend, Kim Jongdae. But after spending so much time with the man, he’s wrong.

 

Jongdae, he learns, is a busy man. It may not look like it, but he is. He watches as Jongdae bustle around the corner, greeting their customers with a polite bow when they pass by and monitors every nook and corner there is in the hotel. And it amazes Yixing, how the man everyone treat as a joke, is respectable and admirable in the eyes of his employees. Hundreds of people would be jobless if Jongdae didn’t step up and told his father that he’ll manage the hotel instead of selling it.

 

“I’m really sorry for making you wait.” Jongdae says after giving Yixing a long kiss on the lips once the younger entered the hotel room he made him stay during the wait. “Everything is just going crazy and I need to sort it out before it goes insane.”

 

“I understand.” He wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. “So dinner?”

 

“But I’m not hungry anymore. Besides,” Jongdae bats his eyes in attempt to look innocent. “They say that they just finished upgrading the bathroom into a soundproof one so…” He raises his eyebrows with an adorable smile plastered on his face.

 

“Aish this guy.” Yixing playfully rolls his eyes as he let himself be dragged by his needy boyfriend.

 

Sex with Jongdae is a very—well, what’s the word—adventurous and exciting. He knew that the younger would be an expert in this field, but what he didn’t know is that Jongdae seems to be, well, kinky. The first time they did it, Jongdae calls him _daddy_ , which greatly surprises him but makes him feel good nevertheless. Next, he calls him _master_ then the next, _big brother_ which includes Jongdae acting like an inexperienced teenage girl that have just seen a penis for the first time and so on and so forth.

 

Yixing chokes on his spit when he saw Jongdae crawling on top of him. “Seonsaengnim.” The younger lets out a seductive moan as he grinds himself on the elder’s crotch. “Seonsaengnim, I’ve been a bad boy.”

 

Oh sweet baby Jesus.

 

(“Baby, what’s taking you so long?” said Minseok, who was sitting on the bed with glasses perched up on his nose as he reads a book. After hearing a few containers of shampoos clattering on the bathroom floor, he sighs. “Lu Han, please tell me that the shampoo wasn’t open when it fell.”

 

“I’m sorry, A-Appa.” Upon hearing that, the elder’s eyes went wide and quickly looks up to see Lu Han, naked in all his glory, face red as a beet as he fumbles with his fingers, embarrassed. “Are you…Are you mad? Lu Han’s been a bad boy.”

 

It took approximately 2 seconds for Minseok to jump on his husband.

 

The next day, Lu Han treats Jongdae to a fancy dinner.)

 

He was amazed how easily he trusted Jongdae. Maybe it was because he has this weird charm that can worm into your heart, but as it turns out, it’s far from that. It’s actually the fact that the younger understands what he’s going through even without telling him what’s wrong. Jongdae can read him like an open book. Unlike Joonmyeon who lets the topic go when he senses Yixing is uncomfortable, Jongdae eggs him to go on and say it, telling him that keeping your worries and bad thoughts locked inside will only make it worse.

 

And so Jongdae listens. He didn’t hug him nor treat him like a baby after that. He just stares at him with eyes full of mixed emotions. And for a moment, Yixing is confused.

 

“You’re lucky.” Upon hearing that, Yixing is appalled.

 

“What’s lucky about that?!”

 

Jongdae shrugs, unaffected by his outburst. “At least you still get to see him.”

 

He met his father again after a few weeks of thinking about what Jongdae told him and with the help of his boyfriend, he managed to stand his ground and bravely rang the doorbell.

 

“Yixing?” His giver father’s voice was hoarse, eyes wide in surprise and mouth gaping slightly. Jongdae mentally takes note of his boyfriend’s and the man’s resemblance. “Is that—is that you?” Yixing didn’t have time to respond because in a blink of an eye, his father got his arms around him, clinging to him as he sobs out apologies. “My little boy.” He cries and Yixing can’t help but melt in his arms.

 

Turns out, the reason was because of his giver father’s infidelity. When Yixing was born, he wanted to start anew and cut off any relationship he had with his lover. But after finding out that his lover was pregnant and that the woman had no support with her family, he was left with no choice but to leave Yixing and his carrier father. It was karma, he said, for the bad things he had done to his Baba.

 

“Your father was, and still is, everything to me. The memoy of leaving the both of you still haunts me. I couldn’t blame you when you grew up to hate me.”

 

“Don’t misunderstand all of this. I still hate you.” Yixing said, eyes trained at Jongdae as he plays with Yixing’s nephews from his step-sister. “You should thank Jongdae.” He said and his father followed his son’s gaze. “If it wasn’t for him, then I wouldn’t be here talking to you.” He pauses for a bit before continuing. “And Baba is doing well without you. He didn’t remarry, but he’s happy. It would be best if you don’t appear in his life ever again.”

 

And before they left, he politely bowed to his father’s wife. “Thank you for taking care of him.”

 

Yixing cried in Jongdae’s arms that night inside the safety of their home.

 

In turn, Yixing helped Jongdae mend his relationship with his giver father. At first it wasn’t a success due to both of their stubborn nature, but as time passed, the dinner that was held once a year was now once a month.

 

“I swear my Dad likes you more than me.” Jongdae says once he entered the kitchen carrying his giver father’s bottle of wine. Yixing chuckles softly upon hearing that, turning off the stove before giving his boyfriend a chaste kiss on the lips.

 

“Don’t be silly.”

 

“Yixing, my boy! The game is starting!”

 

Jongdae looks at him with both eyebrows raised as if saying, _I told you so_.

 

(“Don’t do anything stupid. Yixing’s a keeper so keep your head straight, boy.”

 

Jongdae rolls his eyes. “I know, Dad. I’d be stupid to let him go.”)

 

It was one night during their _not-talking-because-we’re-tired-to_ - _but-it’s comfortable_ time when Yixing suddenly asked how many children he want, he did not expect for Jongdae to answer none. He was baffled and surprised upon hearing that and he nearly collapsed when the younger told him that.

 

“I went to a doctor once for my check up a few years back and she said that I am sterile and unable to give birth.” Yixing was gaping like a fish now. “But it’s okay, I don’t want one anyway.” He waves in dismissal as if the news didn’t bother him.

 

Well, there goes his promise to his Baba.

 

 To his surprise, his Baba already knew of that. It turns out Jongdae already told him and that he is very sorry if his son ended up with someone like _him._ He also said that he wouldn’t mind if he is against the relationship because honestly, Yixing deserves someone better than him.

 

“Baba, I’m really sorr-“

 

“Why are sorry for that, Xing-ah? I’m mad at a different reason.”

 

Yixing’s eyes widen upon hearing that. “What?”

 

“Why didn’t I see any ring on the boy’s finger? Someone like him is hard to come by. What are you doing?!” His Baba bursts out making Yixing lean away in shock. “I can see the way he is with you and you with him. Even without grandchildren, I’m still happy because my son is happy. Besides, you didn’t break your promise.” His father reaches out to hold his hand and smiles. “You’re still here. You didn’t leave me. And for me, that’s enough.”

 

Jongdae’s not that good with expressing his feelings, so after the sudden proposal, he locked himself in his room and cried. Turns out the guy’s just sad because he failed in giving the man a complete family like he yearns. He’s sterile, he said. He expected Yixing to leave him a few years later with another woman or a carrier. Just hearing that from his boyfriend—now, fiancée—made Yixing frown.

 

“That’s kind of insulting, you know.” He said. “You don’t trust my love for you.” Jongdae opened his mouth to protest but the elder cut him off with a chuckle. “Alright. I’m gonna prove it to you.” He pumped his fist. “Challenge accepted!”

 

Jongdae shakes his head and laughs as he toys the ring on his finger.

 

The preparation for the wedding is hectic. First there was the fitting, then the food tasting, the theme, the wedding cake, the—

 

“Did you know I was once in love with Minseok-hyung?” Upon hearing that, the wine that Yixing was supposed to swallow came bursting out of his mouth like a shower. Yup, that wine tastes awful.  

 

And then there’s his fiancée’s confessions.

 

The wedding was amazing even after knowing that. It was pure happiness and bliss. The whole time, their hands never left each other’s grasps. The only time that it did was when Jongdae shared a dance with his father and Minseok.

 

“Congratulations, dude.” Lu Han grins at him as they sway against the music. “Married, finally.”

 

“Yeah. To a man I didn’t expected to be with at that.” He chuckles only to slowly stop when he saw the familiar figure on the balcony. He’s here, he smiles. That guy really haven’t changed.

 

This was the first time he saw Joonmyeon again after the break-up. It was ironic, because this was what he and Joonmyeon’s been dreaming all their life; a lovely wedding filled with friends and families. He can sense that the elder was uncomfortable during their talk probably because of his stare. But he can’t help it especially when he notices the dark bags under Joonmyeon’s eyes that not even make-up can hide.

 

They say that it’s bad luck for bringing an ex-lover or an unrequited love during wedding days. But in reality, it’s not. It actually depends on the person. Because in life, people come and go. They come to brighten up your world and eventually leave without expecting it. So if you want to keep a person around, then do something about it.

 

Yixing pulls out a handkerchief and wipes the tears on Joonmyeon’s face. “Look, Joonie. Whatever you’re going through, don’t be afraid to come to me…” He glances at Jongdae, who was looking at them with a gentle smile. “To us.” He claps the man’s shoulder twice. “We’re friends. And friends, help each other out. Okay?”

 

Despite the rough past they had, the two are close friends.

 

Jongdae was surprisingly quiet on their journey towards their honeymoon and Yixing can’t help but worry. Because Jongdae is loud and is full of surprises, so if this is another prank then—

 

“My life has always been filled with heartache and pain that I learned to mask my emotions and keep it all to myself. In 23 years, I watched the love of my life fall in love with someone else, build a family with that someone and live the life that he had always dreamed of. But even after witnessing that, I managed. I’m still living.” Jongdae spreads his fingers and intertwines it with Yixing. “But if there comes a time that you’ll leave me for someone else. Then I—“ He pauses for a bit and looks down. “I don’t think I can survive that.”

 

Yixing cups his husband’s face and pulls him in a kiss; a simple brush against their lips, so soft and innocent. “Stupid.” He kisses him again. “You’re so stupid for thinking that I would leave you.” Another kiss. “So.” Then another. “Stupid.”

 

He doesn’t promise that he’s not gonna leave Jongdae because promises are meant to broken. Instead, he says that he will just stay beside him forever, even if the latter grew sick and tired of him, because it’s what he wants and being with him makes him happy and contented.

 

Jongdae scoffs a laugh. “So cheesy.”

 

“Only for you, love.” Yixing chuckles. “Only for you.”   

 

Yixing’s eyes turned soft at the feeling of holding little Seulgi in his arms, all wrapped up and tiny wide eyes looking at him, wondering who this person is. She doesn’t cry, but her eyes were kept big like she’s scared. Well, at first that’s what he thought. But then, he noticed that the eyes are kind of a bit like her father, Kyungsoo. He smiles. Ah, so cute.

 

(“Ah! She looks just like Kyungsoo, my little Seulgi! Look, look!” Baekhyun pulls out his phone and snaps a picture of his husband, rocking their little baby girl in his arms as he feeds her with a bottle of milk. “Ah, so cute.” He coos, giggling like a fangirl when Kyungsoo flashes him a small smile. He then snaps another photo and another and another.

 

Yixing looked at Lu Han, who just shrugs and says, “Can’t blame the dude. He’s been hoping for a girl.”)

 

He wanted a child, but for Jongdae, it’s okay if they don’t have one. Because even if Jongdae is sterile, there’s still other ways to have a child. But if the idea of having one angers his husband, then it’s okay. Being together means respecting the other’s decision and accepting them, giving their perspective big attention because one must—

 

“Congratulations, Mr. Zhang! It seems like there’s been a misunderstanding. Your husband’s 2 weeks pregnant!”

 

Before Jongdae could say anything, Yixing fainted.

 

 


End file.
